Friday, March 20, 2009

Directionally challenged

So last night was my first rehearsal on skates and while I was skating around I realized my problem... I CAN'T TURN LEFT! Okay, "can't" is a strong word. It's more laborious for me to turn left. Turning right is no problem... in fact, I border on awesome going right. I can do a 360 if I am turning right. I can confidently say that a jump wouldn't be out of the question if I could go into it from a right turn.

But for some reason when I turn left, I wobble like a cheap bar table that has had one to many drunk sorority girls dancing on top of it. "Why?" I ask myself. So I tried studying my leg position when I turned left; tried mimicking my movements during a right turn; tried using my toe stop thingamajig to help the situation - all to no avail. Am I doomed to the life of Zoolander (look it up... crappy movie but he had the same problem)? Are there others like me? Is there a whole portion of the population that is left-turning challenged? Maybe there's an actual disease for this affliction... something like lack-o-lefteeitis. Or maybe, just maybe, my body is trying to perform at peak efficiency. UPS avoids left turns for that reason. Who's to say my body isn't doing the same? 

In any case, I hope I can figure it out before opening night.

You may now commence surfing for porn
Scott (A.K.A. Ariel)

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